POETRY

 If I date you and you don't speak Spanish

I'll spend my whole life explaining me 

in a different language, 

entirely from my most authentic self;

who you may never get to see.

It's usually okay for a while 

I ignore it as best as I possibly can,

I mean it's just a language right,

and you're still such a nice man.

But then, there are certain sayings 

that I only speak at home

and I've spent my entire life translating 

what it feels like to be alone.

You see, there are two parts of me

my heart is split in two 

one will always be in Mexico 

and one may end up marrying you.

I've only ever spoken Spanish at home,

it's the only way I know 

how to pray, how to say my name

how to answer the phone;

that part of me will always stay.

If I date you and you don't speak Spanish,

I could be very happy in theory,

but every night when I go to bed 

my heart will cry from being so weary.

I brought someone to Mexico once,

he didn't understand what that meant,

and maybe he loved me,

but just to a very certain extent,

a very small amount of time

to him I was "just a phase"

and I didn't know that I could cry in Spanish

for quite so many days.

If I date you and you don't speak Spanish

it could work out I guess

If you don't suddenly feel the need 

to make feel like I am less 

because I am double the excitement 

worth double the time 

I am a matcha green latte 

and simultaneously a tequila topped with lime.

I've been translating myself my entire life

all my worries and woes,

but the most intimate parts of me,

that English language still never knows.

If I date you and you don't speak Spanish 

eventually, I will lack

because I'll miss my first language 

and I'll desperately want it back. 

-Celia Martínez

@diaryofaromantica

A few days ago, sailing through the waves of my Tik tok, I found the amazing poem written above. I don't exactly know why it caught my attention, maybe because of its first verse referring to languages. I would like to point out that since it was a video recitation of the poem by the author, I am not sure about its punctuation or strophe division, but I wanted to share it with you as well as some personal comments about it. 

First off, how beautiful is modern poetry!!! The choice of words and the feeling that the young lady puts into her writing really hooks you. Personally, I think that the poem, beyond talking about the difference in languages, also refers to culture. I believe that our environment and experiences influence our thoughts and attitudes that is why there is usually a cultural clash between people from different countries, which can be something minimal and insignificant as well as a trigger, that on an emotional level makes you feel what the author conveys in this poem. 

The last three phrases are significant for me "eventually, I will lack because I'll miss my first language and I'll desperately want it back" because I get the impression that it refers to the power of loving yourself despite anything/anyone, learn your worth, and realize what you deserve. 

These other verses "and maybe he loved me, but just to a very certain extent" talk also about love. While it is certain that in a relationship we must keep in mind that each person shows love in different ways, it is important to pay attention if we are receiving a different love language than ours, or simply are not receiving anything at all. 

I really recommend this Mexican girl's poetry, I left her username at the end of the poem, right below her name so you can find some of her writings in her accounts. 

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

Thanks for reading ❤